Understanding the science behind how your baby thrives and balancing that with everyones emotional needs, is my key to successful sleep training.
Navigating the realm of sleep training can be a daunting task, especially with the wide array of parenting beliefs and sleeping styles that exist. The term "training" itself often sparks controversy among parents who hold different views, such as cry-it-out, co-sleeping, and advocates for no-tears. With so many variations, it's essential to recognize that there is no singular "right way" to sleep train every baby or toddler.
Different children respond to sleep training in unique ways –
some find comfort in parental presence, while others are more soothed when
parents are less involved. Some parents feel reassured by being actively
engaged in the training process, while others prefer a more hands-off approach.
In my sleep training consults, I aim to present various options, allowing you
to select the approach that aligns best with your child's needs and your
parenting style.
Before We Start
In the first few months of life, newborns crave soothing as they have been naturally nestled, carried, and gently bounced for the nine months they spent in the womb. At just 10 weeks after conception, their sense of motion, known as the "vestibular" sense, starts to develop. This means they have experienced your movements for almost their entire existence, making your touch and presence immensely comforting to them.
Recreating the womb environment using techniques like swaddling, blocking out light, and white noise greatly aid your baby to that restful slumber. The nurturing process of responding to and soothing your baby's cues fosters a sense of trust in you, which, in turn, helps your baby feel more at ease and relaxed. When babies experience this sense of security, they naturally become more explorative, develop at their own pace, and gradually grow into more independent individuals over time.
As you nestle with baby, pat, feed, and bounce, you can also look for chances to let baby flex their budding sleep skills. Eventually, your baby won’t need you so much in order to sleep, and you’ll be ready to give them space to navigate naps and bedtime on their own. At this time, we will discuss your babies development and cater a sleep training timeline that works for everyone. We will use tools like minding wake windows, bedtime routines, and laying baby down awake. We will discuss a few training options and what to expect with each one, so you can decide which method is best for your family. I have helped shaped peaceful sleepers starting at day one and up until 6 years old, with a variety of unique circumstances. A majority of babies can make great progress towards more restful sleep with a loving, consistent and structured approach.
A Little of the Science Behind It:
Did you know that humans naturally transition between lighter and deeper stages of sleep throughout the night? For newborns, completing a full sleep cycle takes around 20-40 minutes, which can result in frequent waking if their environment isn't optimal or they aren't sufficiently tired. The transition from the womb into the world is so big, it takes weeks for baby adapt.
Just when you feel like they have started to figure out this whole sleep for longer stretches thing, their brains change again! Around the 3-4 month mark, your child experiences a sleep progression as their body undergoes significant development that will impact their sleep patterns long-term. During this time, your child spends longer periods in lighter sleep and begins to move around, including rolling onto their tummies. As your child's sleep habits evolve with their growth, it becomes crucial to allow them space to learn self-comforting skills between sleep cycles.
After we discuss your families current situation, I will create goals for day time that set your child up for success at night. Establishing routines, schedules, and structure that works with your child’s personal sleep needs, is the key to successful training. Once you have begun these practices, your little one will be able to self-soothe and fall asleep without assistance before bedtime and naps. This newfound ability also means that when they wake during the night, they will more easily put themselves back to sleep, eliminating the need for rocking, bouncing, or late-night feedings.
What Is Self-Soothing:
When we talk about self-soothing, it's often associated with self-regulation of emotions, but this skill doesn’t develop in children until they grow much older. So, while "self-soothing" is a commonly used term, it can be somewhat misleading. A more accurate phrase for what happens when a baby falls back asleep on their own without crying is "non-signaling awakening."
The good news is that this ability is not tied to a specific age milestone; rather, babies can exhibit non-signaling awakening as young as a few weeks old. It's fascinating to observe how they discover their own methods of falling asleep, whether it's by sucking their thumb, gently rubbing their head against the mattress, or simply drifting back to sleep without any active self-soothing behaviors.
Witnessing this process as a parent of a newborn is truly heartwarming as you get to see your baby find their unique ways of comforting themselves. Each baby figures out their own personal technique, and it's a precious journey to witness and support as they learn and grow.
My Go to Method:
When baby is officially ready to train, I try to avoid true “Cry It Out” (the version with no check-in) because it’s stressful for parent and child.
My method involves very brief checks at very short intervals so that your baby learns to trust that their loved ones are never far away, allowing baby to access their own self-soothing capabilities.
This method is good for:
Children suspected to have any separation anxiety issues
Parents who want to feel like they’re doing something to help soothe their child
Parents who are committed to consistency
Is it really that straight forward?
Not exactly! In order to reduce crying, we will begin during the day by implementing nap schedules and routines that regulate your baby’s natural circadian rhythm and sleepy hormones. The check-ins take some learning as well. Does your baby get more worked up if you go in? What happens if you pick them up? Do you want to extend the 5 min check to 10 or even 15? Does your baby want a lovey to play with, are they starting to roll over? As you can see there are a lot of little questions that can pop up, and these are all things we can talk about during our phone consult or in person training.
All babies have different temperaments and needs, so while some take a few nights to get the hang of it, others take a little longer. Often, with more firm techniques I see big break throughs within the first few nights. For those implementing more gentle techniques and want to pick up their child, it can take a few weeks to see more progress. In that time we are also working through the best nap schedule, early morning waking’s etc., but your baby is falling asleep on their own much faster and getting longer stretches of good rest.
Click here to fill out my sleep consult form and get started.
You’re going to do great!
Comments